grab a newbie

new guy new fear

In the time I've been dancing, few things have yet to top the terror of my first few social events.

Classes can be intimidating for anyone starting out but at least you are surrounded by others at your level, all being told exactly what to do and with each move repeated until it starts to stick, but socials are a different beast entirely.

It would be great to be able to plug away at classes until you have everything completely nailed and then strut out onto your first dancefloor as a finished product, but as anyone with even just a few events under their belt will stress: it's social dancing where you really learn, especially if that's with someone who knows their swing onions.

That said, one of the subtler caveats of partner dancing is that it requires a partner and plucking up the courage to acquire one when you're the new guy/girl can be a tad scary; especially when you've probably done what most new dancers do at socials - sit and watch for the first while thinking you just want to take it all in before getting up but in fact all you're doing is building up a subconscious fear you're seriously out of your depth.

For those of great testicular fortitude maybe nothing phases you and you're quite content to bounce up to the local pros on your spacehopper-sized balls (or the equivalent female metaphor) and prepare to blow them away with the best basic steps ever performed. But, for everyone else, other than dancing with classmates you're probably not going to get an opportunity to partner up with some of the more experienced dancers unless you're asked.

It's easy to say that beginners should just step out of their comfort zone and ask but I think it is much more important for the more experienced dancers to remember that they were in the same position once and to make a point of getting the new guy or girl up for a swing.

I feel incredibly strongly about this and it's probably due in part to a bad experience I had had one night at a social early on in my (now defunct) salsa career when I approached a girl for a dance who, after taking a moment to look me up and down, gave me a flat "no". After a brief pause I went to the next girl who told me she was taking a break and wasn't dancing to this song... but as soon as I stepped away she was up with the next guy that asked her.

That wasn't the end of my night, I know I had a few more dances before I left and if you can believe me I genuinely don't keep it as a chip on my shoulder but two rejections in quick succession really burnt and, going beyond making sure I never refuse a dance, I make sure to ask the quiet ones in the corners or the person hovering with intent near the edge of the dancefloor who knows no one there and barely knows the steps but is already infected by the fun of swing and is raring to give it a rip.

I'm hardly alone on this as I know plenty of others do the same but it's still worth highlighting for the sake of the rest that don't and who risk looking like an elitist clique. I've said before, and I will never tire of repeating, just how wonderful the people in swing are and I guarantee that if any of these more experienced dancers are asked 99% will say yes, but I do think a greater onus should be on them to actually initiate the dance in the first place.

This also doesn't just apply to the swing bourgeoisie but to anyone who knows they've been dancing longer than the other person sat there tapping their foot in anticipation - even if you have only been learning for a few months and are far short of where you want to be, ask up the girl or guy that you know has probably only been to about three classes and just have fun. Not only will it help your own progress and confidence but it will make you feel like a rockstar and the positive effect you will have on that beginner is priceless.

We've all been that beginner so pay it forward and go grab a newbie.