the swing bat-signal

An artist's interpretation of a 'Swing Bat-Signal' over Belfast

I was out in Glasgow over the weekend for a friend's birthday and we ended up in a place called Drury Street Bar & Kitchen - cunningly enough, on Drury Street.

It was a great venue and it also had great music; but that was a serious problem.

For the first hour or so there was an ace little live swing band and they were followed by a great DJ set but there wasn't a swinger in sight and, like a kid standing at the window of a locked toy store, I stood and imagined all the fun that was there to be had but was tantalisingly out of reach.

I got a few of my more eager friends up and attempted to teach them some basic Charleston but although they gave it their best shot, understandably no one wants to learn to dance in the full glare of the public, so that came to nothing. I also approached a few random strangers who I thought were giving out the international signal for swing dancer by tapping their feet along to lindy hop music on two but, alas, it too was nothing but smoke and mirrors.

This has also been a regular problem at weddings.

One of the things I got really excited about, after taking up dancing, was thinking about being able to go to large social gatherings such as wedding receptions and being able to dance without resembling that uncle we all have who refuses to conform to societal or rhythmical norms.

No such luck.

Invariably the music is great, whether lindy hop or west coast swing appropriate, and each time a great song comes on I scour the function room looking for some syncopated body movement but each time the search is fruitless. What is worse is that, now that my friends know how fond I am of swing dancing, they expect greatness on the dancefloor. Try as I might, however, I have yet to make a partner dance look anything other than completely daft when performed solo.

It's possible that doing a couple of rapid two-handed sugar pushes at the right moments to Donna Summer's Hot Stuff might just about work for anyone wanting to recreate the most famous scene from The Full Monty but otherwise you really need a partner.

In fact, I have a wedding coming up in December when I know the music is guaranteed to be good so as a precaution I have invited my regular dance partner as my +1 just to be on the safe side!

That said, it would be great if there was a universal signal or motif you could wear to such things to try to root out other dancers without having to ask everyone the same question. A special handshake, or an app that makes your phone vibrate when you're within range of a another swing dancer, or, best of all, put out a great big Commissioner Gordon-style bat signal and hope for the best.