dance faces

sometimes photos can be less than complimentary

We all have them, they can sometimes reveal what we're actually like to dance with, and as the photo above shows we can absolutely guarantee that our worst ones have been caught on camera.

It's very rare to find someone that holds exactly the same expression throughout a dance or, for that matter, throughout their dancing life, but generally there are a number of default dance faces that are most commonly seen on a dance floor. Males and females alike.

McDonald's Eyebrows - the beginner's giveaway, the look of fear may be obvious or only nuanced but it is almost always accompanied by a well arched 'brow. Commonly an indicator of a first social dance but generally just suggests a lack of confidence. The altitude of the eyebrows is directly correlated with experience and, much like the balls of a pubescent boy, they drop with time.

Shy Guy - it doesn't matter how incredible some dancers may be, they inconceivably still lack confidence. Their extravagant solo flourishes are as rare as their eye contact but that doesn't mean they aren't 100% focused on you or incapable of giving you the best dance of your night. Ephemeral glances and simpers are worth a fortune and they're always gracious. (geek points if the name reminded you of these chaps)

Sexyface - these folk crack me up. There's usually a subtle duck-face vibe with the lips slightly pouted, and eye contact is either sporadic or constant but always intense and invokes Lauren Bacall at her coyest. Sometimes this actually looks demure but more often than not they're trying so hard to smoulder it looks like they've just awoken from a stupor sucking lemon rind. Fairly uncommon in the Lindy hop community but slightly more prevalent in west coast swing and salsa/Latin circles.

Monolith - when I say their faces appear hewn from stone I'm not celebrating a flawless bone structure but instead suggesting that they resemble the expressionless Moai of Easter Island. It's not immediately clear why they dance as they don't appear to enjoy it or to be peacocking for a mate, but yet they still get up for as many dances as the next guy. Sometimes the default dance face of pros who are social dancing out of obligation or self-promotion rather than desire.

Smilers - completely self-explanatory, these folk just exude joy for their dancing, their partner, the music, life in general. Without question, smilers are the most fun to dance with because they offer the simplest and most satisfying form of feedback you can get during a dance. Even if they smile at everyone for the entirety of the night, and not just because you did something awesome, a smile across the face of a partner is a confidence builder that never fails to put a spring in my step. I love these guys and thankfully they are the most abundant!

Divas - immeasurably worse than sexy face and the pure embodiment of pretension. You're not good enough, not hot enough or simply not French enough (I once danced with a girl who infamously only 'turns it on' for the Gauls). Although the sexyface types may not always offer eye contact they at least focus on you, but the divas would rather look beyond and around for someone more befitting of their status to rescue them from boredom - despite the fact that divas are almost always only barely above average dancers. A rare species but sadly not yet extinct and demonstrating a frustrating penchant for survival in every dance habitat.

Eye Contact Max - sometimes this is just a cultural thing (I've found it to be especially common with Central and Eastern Europeans) and sometimes the face can be otherwise entirely neutral but holy good heck: these people!! As someone brought up in a culture where staring is discouraged, to find yourself the sole object of another's fixation for a few minutes can wreak all manner of mischief within. I appreciate that paying attention to your partner can improve the connection and therefore the dance, but to the inexperienced social dancer unaware of these cultural nuances, having someone stare at you for an entire song triggers intense inner monologue:

"Is there something on my chin?"
"What's wrong with my hair?"
"I think she likes me!"
"...no, no, I think she's angry!"
"Did... did I mess that up?"
"Has she fallen asleep on her feet? Hellooooooo?"
"She... she is staring... into my Soul!!"

Game Face - comparatively inexpressive from the eyes down but the eyes themselves are completely alive. Sometimes the tongue protrudes from between the lips or pokes against the inside of the cheek with the mouth slightly open; demonstrating supreme concentration. They are utterly focused on their partner, the floor, and the space around them. Also most likely to be accused of staring at their partner's décolletage but, chances are, they're just so focused upon the movement of their partner's core and so lost in the moment that they're entirely oblivious to how said core is furnished.

☺

And additional to the list above there are also a few 'occasional' faces that appear during those special moments where further expression is required:

Whoops! - it's like McDonald's Eyebrows but the whites of the eyes are more prominent and the chin is frantically attempting to recede into the neck. Most commonly occurs after an errant kick-step, flailing arm or accidental inappropriate hand placement. If they've also got flaming red hair then there is an obvious and unfortunate comparison.

'Daheckuat?! - this expression can flash across the face of even the calmest of dancers irrespective of ability or affability, but simply implies that they have no idea what their partner is attempting. There may be fear involved, it could be contempt, but if the eyebrows and the lips simultaneously make a lunge for the nose it's because they're asking the person opposite "what the heck are you at?!"

Nailed it - it doesn't have to be a super advanced move or pattern, just one that three minutes ago you thought was beyond you, but that don't matter: you just owned it. Maybe your entire dance was on point, but you're far too cool to smile: eyebrows high but eyelids low, rest of face impassive. If this was a movie, you'd be calmly swaggering towards the camera while stuff explodes in the background.

Derp - never actually apparent on the dancefloor but very obvious when the photos hit social media. Some people (myself included) are capable of some of the most ridiculous facial contortions: eyes focused on opposite walls, forehead and neck trying to out-crease each other, all framed between inverted jazz hands while trying to bite my own ear. So hawt.

And I'm willing to bet at least a couple of you attempted to recreate some of these descriptions while reading!